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Kongo marriage — historical protocol (Lower Congo)

Documented

Period : Customs described by John H. Weeks (paper read on 16 December 1908; book of 1914) and by Bentley for the Cataract Region, 1887-99 (book of 1900).

Sources

  1. Weeks, John H.Translation pending — Among the Primitive BakongoTranslation pending (1914), p. 141
    COURTSHIP AND MARRIAGE

    Source context : auteur missionnaire, période colonialeTranslation pending

    Reading guidance : Source produced in a colonial or missionary context: read with critical distance.

  2. Weeks, John H.Translation pending — Notes on some customs of the Lower Congo people (Folk-Lore, vol. XIX, 1908)Translation pending (1908), p. PDF 445
    THE following notes refer more particularly to San Salvador and its neighbourhood, but they are not confined solely to that district.

    Source context : auteur missionnaire, période colonialeTranslation pending

    Reading guidance : Source produced in a colonial or missionary context: read with critical distance.

  3. Weeks, John H.Translation pending — Notes on some customs of the Lower Congo people (Folk-Lore, vol. XIX, 1908)Translation pending (1908), p. 410
    it is called Kongo dia Ntotela, i.e. the King's Kongo

    Source context : auteur missionnaire, période colonialeTranslation pending

    Reading guidance : Source produced in a colonial or missionary context: read with critical distance.

  4. Bentley, William HolmanTranslation pending — Pioneering on the Congo, vol. IITranslation pending (1900), p. 332
    In the Wathen district a slave girl may be bought and taken as a wife

    Source context : auteur missionnaire, période colonialeTranslation pending

    Reading guidance : Source produced in a colonial or missionary context: read with critical distance.

  5. Bentley, William HolmanTranslation pending — Pioneering on the Congo, vol. IITranslation pending (1900), p. 333
    THE CATARACT REGION: 1887-99

    Source context : auteur missionnaire, période colonialeTranslation pending

    Reading guidance : Source produced in a colonial or missionary context: read with critical distance.

  1. Documented

    Palm wine taken to the maternal uncle

    What happens

    To gain the girl, the first thing the young man does is to take a calabash of palm wine to her maternal uncle and tell him the desire of his heart. If the uncle listens favourably, he thanks the young man and drinks the wine; this does not pledge him in any way, it is simply a sign of goodwill. He sets food and drink before the young man and, without a decided answer, tells him to return on a stated day.

    Why this step?

    Not specified by the sources.

    Who takes part?

    What the nzonzi needs to know

    Not specified by the sources.

    Variants

    Not specified by the sources.

    Sources

    1. Weeks, John H.Translation pending — Among the Primitive BakongoTranslation pending (1914), p. 141
      but to gain her, the first thing

      Source context : auteur missionnaire, période colonialeTranslation pending

      Reading guidance : Source produced in a colonial or missionary context: read with critical distance.

    2. Weeks, John H.Translation pending — Among the Primitive BakongoTranslation pending (1914), p. 142
      but this does not pledge him in any way to give him his niece in marriage, it is simply a sign of goodwill.

      Source context : auteur missionnaire, période colonialeTranslation pending

      Reading guidance : Source produced in a colonial or missionary context: read with critical distance.

    3. Weeks, John H.Translation pending — Notes on some customs of the Lower Congo people (Folk-Lore, vol. XIX, 1908)Translation pending (1908), p. 411
      To gain his sweetheart the first thing he has to do is to take a calabash of palm wine to the girl's maternal uncle (ngudi a nkazi), and tell him what is in his heart.

      Source context : auteur missionnaire, période colonialeTranslation pending

      Reading guidance : Source produced in a colonial or missionary context: read with critical distance.

  2. Variant

    Second visit: consent and amount

    What happens

    On the appointed day the young man returns to the uncle with palm wine. Having drunk it, the uncle states whether he is willing or not. If willing, he states the marriage money he wants, in packets of blue pipe beads (see the dowry). According to Weeks 1914 the amount depends on the position of the girl's family and the suitor's wealth, and it is often haggled over and reduced.

    Why this step?

    Weeks 1914: the marriage money is a guarantee that the girl will be properly treated.

    Who takes part?

    What the nzonzi needs to know

    Not specified by the sources.

    Variants

    The amounts cited differ between sources: see the dowry.

    Sources

    1. Weeks, John H.Translation pending — Among the Primitive BakongoTranslation pending (1914), p. 142
      The amount demanded as marriage money is often haggled over and reduced

      Source context : auteur missionnaire, période colonialeTranslation pending

      Reading guidance : Source produced in a colonial or missionary context: read with critical distance.

    2. Weeks, John H.Translation pending — Notes on some customs of the Lower Congo people (Folk-Lore, vol. XIX, 1908)Translation pending (1908), p. 411
      On the appointed day the young man, carrying some palm wine, revisits the girl's uncle, who having drunk the wine states whether he is willing for him to marry his niece or not.

      Source context : auteur missionnaire, période colonialeTranslation pending

      Reading guidance : Source produced in a colonial or missionary context: read with critical distance.

  3. Documented

    Gathering the marriage money

    What happens

    The suitor counts over the wealth he has in hand, applies to his family to help him and sets about trading and working to make up the deficiency. Some months later the uncle is informed that the marriage money is ready, either in beads or their equivalent in goats, pigs, powder, cloth.

    Why this step?

    Not specified by the sources.

    Who takes part?

    What the nzonzi needs to know

    Not specified by the sources.

    Variants

    Not specified by the sources.

    Sources

    1. Weeks, John H.Translation pending — Among the Primitive BakongoTranslation pending (1914), p. 142
      The man now counts over such wealth as he has in hand, applies to his family to help him, and sets about trading, working, &c. to make up the deficiency

      Source context : auteur missionnaire, période colonialeTranslation pending

      Reading guidance : Source produced in a colonial or missionary context: read with critical distance.

  4. Documented

    The counting in the suitor's town

    What happens

    The uncle takes some palm wine and goes to the young man's town to count the marriage money. According to Weeks 1914 this is not done without much chaffering about the value in beads of the goats, pigs, etc.

    Why this step?

    Not specified by the sources.

    Who takes part?

    What the nzonzi needs to know

    Not specified by the sources.

    Variants

    Not specified by the sources.

    Sources

    1. Weeks, John H.Translation pending — Among the Primitive BakongoTranslation pending (1914), p. 142
      either in beads or their equivalent in goats, pigs, powder, cloth, &c., he takes some palm wine and goes to the

      Source context : auteur missionnaire, période colonialeTranslation pending

      Reading guidance : Source produced in a colonial or missionary context: read with critical distance.

    2. Weeks, John H.Translation pending — Among the Primitive BakongoTranslation pending (1914), p. 143
      This is not done without much chaffering about the value in beads of the goats, pigs, &c.

      Source context : auteur missionnaire, période colonialeTranslation pending

      Reading guidance : Source produced in a colonial or missionary context: read with critical distance.

    3. Weeks, John H.Translation pending — Notes on some customs of the Lower Congo people (Folk-Lore, vol. XIX, 1908)Translation pending (1908), p. 411
      he takes some palm wine and visits the town of the young man to count out the marriage money.

      Source context : auteur missionnaire, période colonialeTranslation pending

      Reading guidance : Source produced in a colonial or missionary context: read with critical distance.

  5. Variant

    Introducing the father and payment

    What happens

    A day is fixed for introducing the girl's father to his future son-in-law. On that day both uncle and father take calabashes of palm wine to the suitor, who calls his friends as witnesses; they all drink first the uncle's wine and then the father's. The marriage money is then paid; the father receives his small portion and drops out of all subsequent proceedings. So far as uncle, father and suitor are concerned, the arrangements are then completed.

    Why this step?

    Not specified by the sources.

    Who takes part?

    What the nzonzi needs to know

    Not specified by the sources.

    Variants

    The 1908 paper says that after drinking they discuss the marriage money and the father takes the portion due to him; the 1914 book says that the marriage money is paid and the father receives his small portion.

    Sources

    1. Weeks, John H.Translation pending — Among the Primitive BakongoTranslation pending (1914), p. 143
      a day is fixed for introducing the girl's father to his future son-in-law

      Source context : auteur missionnaire, période colonialeTranslation pending

      Reading guidance : Source produced in a colonial or missionary context: read with critical distance.

    2. Weeks, John H.Translation pending — Notes on some customs of the Lower Congo people (Folk-Lore, vol. XIX, 1908)Translation pending (1908), p. 411
      on that day both uncle and father take calabashes of palm wine to the young man, who calls his friends, and all drink first the uncle's wine and then the father's

      Source context : auteur missionnaire, période colonialeTranslation pending

      Reading guidance : Source produced in a colonial or missionary context: read with critical distance.

  6. Documented

    The mother's consent

    What happens

    The marriage cannot be consummated until the girl's mother gives her consent. If she thinks the girl is not old enough, that is, her breasts are not properly formed, she withholds her permission. According to the 1908 paper, the marriage is completed when the girl arrives at puberty. According to Weeks 1914, the man seeking to marry soon finds it wise to conciliate the girl's mother and gain her consent with small presents and much show of respectful deference; otherwise, although he will eventually receive the girl, he will have a hostile mother-in-law.

    Why this step?

    The sources give the reason for a refusal: the mother withholds permission while her daughter is not old enough.

    Who takes part?

    What the nzonzi needs to know

    Not specified by the sources.

    Variants

    Not specified by the sources.

    Sources

    1. Weeks, John H.Translation pending — Among the Primitive BakongoTranslation pending (1914), p. 143
      If the mother thinks that the girl is not old enough, i.e. that her daughter's breasts are not properly formed, she withholds her permission.

      Source context : auteur missionnaire, période colonialeTranslation pending

      Reading guidance : Source produced in a colonial or missionary context: read with critical distance.

    2. Weeks, John H.Translation pending — Notes on some customs of the Lower Congo people (Folk-Lore, vol. XIX, 1908)Translation pending (1908), p. 412
      When she arrives at puberty the marriage is completed.

      Source context : auteur missionnaire, période colonialeTranslation pending

      Reading guidance : Source produced in a colonial or missionary context: read with critical distance.

  7. Variant

    The sham abduction (nata nkento)

    What happens

    According to Weeks 1914, among fairly well-to-do and rich families there is generally a mock abduction (the 1908 article says "generally", without restricting it to well-to-do families). When all is settled the bridegroom goes on the appointed day to the bride's town with a few friends; as they draw near they fire guns and shout. At the girl's house there is a sham struggle, and at last the girl is carried off: this is called nata nkento, carrying or lifting the woman.

    Why this step?

    It is an indication of the bridegroom's importance and a method of honouring the bride.

    Who takes part?

    What the nzonzi needs to know

    Not specified by the sources.

    Variants

    Weeks 1914 places this pretence "among fairly well-to-do and rich families"; the 1908 paper says only that it happens "generally".

    Sources

    1. Weeks, John H.Translation pending — Among the Primitive BakongoTranslation pending (1914), p. 144
      Among fairly well-to-do and rich families there is generally

      Source context : auteur missionnaire, période colonialeTranslation pending

      Reading guidance : Source produced in a colonial or missionary context: read with critical distance.

    2. Weeks, John H.Translation pending — Among the Primitive BakongoTranslation pending (1914), p. 145
      This is what is called carrying, or lifting the woman (nata nkento).

      Source context : auteur missionnaire, période colonialeTranslation pending

      Reading guidance : Source produced in a colonial or missionary context: read with critical distance.

    3. Weeks, John H.Translation pending — Notes on some customs of the Lower Congo people (Folk-Lore, vol. XIX, 1908)Translation pending (1908), p. 412
      Generally there is a pretence of taking the wife by force.

      Source context : auteur missionnaire, période colonialeTranslation pending

      Reading guidance : Source produced in a colonial or missionary context: read with critical distance.

  8. Variant

    The feast in the bridegroom's town

    What happens

    On reaching his own town the bridegroom tells the young men to fetch the drums and plenty of palm wine. Crowds gather, wine is drunk, goats and pigs are killed and eaten, and guns are fired. The bride goes without food on the day before her marriage.

    Why this step?

    Not specified by the sources.

    Who takes part?

    What the nzonzi needs to know

    Not specified by the sources.

    Variants

    Length: from two days to a week, according to the bridegroom's wealth (Weeks 1914); "sometimes" a whole week (Weeks 1908).

    Sources

    1. Weeks, John H.Translation pending — Among the Primitive BakongoTranslation pending (1914), p. 145
      On reaching his own town, the bridegroom tells the young men to fetch the drums and plenty of palm wine.

      Source context : auteur missionnaire, période colonialeTranslation pending

      Reading guidance : Source produced in a colonial or missionary context: read with critical distance.

    2. Weeks, John H.Translation pending — Notes on some customs of the Lower Congo people (Folk-Lore, vol. XIX, 1908)Translation pending (1908), p. 412
      On that day a great crowd gathers, wine is drunk, goats and pigs are killed, and guns are fired.

      Source context : auteur missionnaire, période colonialeTranslation pending

      Reading guidance : Source produced in a colonial or missionary context: read with critical distance.

  9. Documented

    Handing over the girl and the elders' instructions

    What happens

    When the festivities are over and the guests have gone, the elders meet, give the girl into the hands of the husband and instruct them both in the presence of witnesses (words reported in the interventions).

    Why this step?

    Not specified by the sources.

    Who takes part?

    What the nzonzi needs to know

    Not specified by the sources.

    Variants

    Not specified by the sources.

    Sources

    1. Weeks, John H.Translation pending — Among the Primitive BakongoTranslation pending (1914), p. 145
      When the festivities are over, and the guests have gone, the elders meet and give the girl into the hands of the new husband, and they instruct them both in the presence of witnesses.

      Source context : auteur missionnaire, période colonialeTranslation pending

      Reading guidance : Source produced in a colonial or missionary context: read with critical distance.

    2. Weeks, John H.Translation pending — Notes on some customs of the Lower Congo people (Folk-Lore, vol. XIX, 1908)Translation pending (1908), p. 412
      When the crowd has gone, the elders meet and give the girl into the hands of the young man, and they teach them both in the presence of witnesses.

      Source context : auteur missionnaire, période colonialeTranslation pending

      Reading guidance : Source produced in a colonial or missionary context: read with critical distance.

  10. Documented

    The oath on the bullet

    What happens

    The man goes to one of the witnesses, takes him by the wrist, rubs a bullet on the palm of the witness's hand and speaks the oath; the woman also takes the same oath.

    Why this step?

    Not specified by the sources.

    Who takes part?

    What the nzonzi needs to know

    Not specified by the sources.

    Variants

    Not specified by the sources.

    Sources

    1. Weeks, John H.Translation pending — Among the Primitive BakongoTranslation pending (1914), p. 145
      Thereupon the man goes to one of the witnesses, and taking

      Source context : auteur missionnaire, période colonialeTranslation pending

      Reading guidance : Source produced in a colonial or missionary context: read with critical distance.

    2. Weeks, John H.Translation pending — Among the Primitive BakongoTranslation pending (1914), p. 146
      him by the wrist, he rubs a bullet on the palm of the witness's hand

      Source context : auteur missionnaire, période colonialeTranslation pending

      Reading guidance : Source produced in a colonial or missionary context: read with critical distance.

    3. Weeks, John H.Translation pending — Notes on some customs of the Lower Congo people (Folk-Lore, vol. XIX, 1908)Translation pending (1908), p. 412
      Then the young man goes to one of the witnesses

      Source context : auteur missionnaire, période colonialeTranslation pending

      Reading guidance : Source produced in a colonial or missionary context: read with critical distance.

    4. Weeks, John H.Translation pending — Notes on some customs of the Lower Congo people (Folk-Lore, vol. XIX, 1908)Translation pending (1908), p. 413
      and takes him by the wrist, and, rubbing a bullet on the palm of the witness's hand, says

      Source context : auteur missionnaire, période colonialeTranslation pending

      Reading guidance : Source produced in a colonial or missionary context: read with critical distance.

  11. Variant

    The hearthstones

    What happens

    This oath taken, the elders (Weeks 1914) or the witnesses (Weeks 1908) enter the house of the newly married couple to arrange the hearthstones and teach the bride her duties as a wife.

    Why this step?

    Not specified by the sources.

    Who takes part?

    What the nzonzi needs to know

    Not specified by the sources.

    Variants

    Those who enter the house are "the elders" according to Weeks 1914, "the witnesses" according to the 1908 paper.

    Sources

    1. Weeks, John H.Translation pending — Among the Primitive BakongoTranslation pending (1914), p. 146
      the elders enter the house of the newly-married couple to arrange the hearthstones, and to teach the bride concerning her duties as a wife

      Source context : auteur missionnaire, période colonialeTranslation pending

      Reading guidance : Source produced in a colonial or missionary context: read with critical distance.

    2. Weeks, John H.Translation pending — Notes on some customs of the Lower Congo people (Folk-Lore, vol. XIX, 1908)Translation pending (1908), p. 413
      the witnesses go into the house of the newly married couple to arrange the hearth stones and to instruct the bride in her duties as a wife

      Source context : auteur missionnaire, période colonialeTranslation pending

      Reading guidance : Source produced in a colonial or missionary context: read with critical distance.

  12. Documented

    The departure of the girl's relatives

    What happens

    After instructing the bride and her husband, the girl's relatives are sent off with all due respect and with suitable presents. When the wife gives birth to a child, the husband at once informs her family.

    Why this step?

    Not specified by the sources.

    Who takes part?

      What the nzonzi needs to know

      Not specified by the sources.

      Variants

      Not specified by the sources.

      Sources

      1. Weeks, John H.Translation pending — Among the Primitive BakongoTranslation pending (1914), p. 146
        After instructing the bride and her husband the girl's relatives are sent off with all due respect and with suitable presents.

        Source context : auteur missionnaire, période colonialeTranslation pending

        Reading guidance : Source produced in a colonial or missionary context: read with critical distance.

      2. Weeks, John H.Translation pending — Notes on some customs of the Lower Congo people (Folk-Lore, vol. XIX, 1908)Translation pending (1908), p. 413
        After this the girl's relatives are sent off with all due respect and with suitable presents.

        Source context : auteur missionnaire, période colonialeTranslation pending

        Reading guidance : Source produced in a colonial or missionary context: read with critical distance.

    • Variant

      The thanksgiving feast (matondo)

      What happens

      According to Laman, the wedding feast proper takes place only about a year or more after the bride-price is agreed. The wife's kanda arrives with one or more pigs and other presents as matondo, a sign of gratitude for the meat, fish and other gifts the husband has given his wife, of which her kanda has also received a portion. The husband comes with a spokesman, who replies to the spokesman of his wife's kanda; the latter declares, among other things, how many pots of yuuma the visitors have brought, perhaps from ten to thirty. Both parties then calculate which of them has given most and retire to reach a settlement. Sometimes one party is dissatisfied: no thanksgiving feast is held, and they break up, taking their pigs and yuuma pots with them.

      Why this step?

      Laman presents the gifts as a sign of gratitude for the husband's gifts to his wife, of which her kanda has received a portion.

      Who takes part?

      What the nzonzi needs to know

      The spokesman of the wife's kanda announces, among other things, how many pots of yuuma were brought; the husband's spokesman replies. Both parties then compare what each has given before retiring to settle the matter.

      Variants

      This feast is described by Laman (The Kongo II, 1957); the pages cited from Weeks and Bentley do not describe it; in Weeks, the wife's relatives leave with presents at the end of the ceremony.

      Sources

      1. Laman, Karl EdwardTranslation pending — The Kongo IITranslation pending (1957), p. 33
        the wife's kanda will arrive with one or more pigs and other presents as matondo (a sign of gratitude)

        Source context : auteur missionnaire, période colonialeTranslation pending

        Reading guidance : Source produced in a colonial or missionary context: read with critical distance.

      2. Weeks, John H.Translation pending — Among the Primitive BakongoTranslation pending (1914), p. 146
        the girl's relatives are sent off with all due respect and with suitable presents

        Source context : auteur missionnaire, période colonialeTranslation pending

        Reading guidance : Source produced in a colonial or missionary context: read with critical distance.

      3. Laman, Karl EdwardTranslation pending — The Kongo IITranslation pending (1957), p. 33
        The wedding feast proper does not take place until some time after this, about a year or more

        Source context : auteur missionnaire, période colonialeTranslation pending

        Reading guidance : Source produced in a colonial or missionary context: read with critical distance.

      4. Laman, Karl EdwardTranslation pending — The Kongo IITranslation pending (1957), p. 33
        for the meat, fish and other gifts that the husband has given his wife

        Source context : auteur missionnaire, période colonialeTranslation pending

        Reading guidance : Source produced in a colonial or missionary context: read with critical distance.

      5. Laman, Karl EdwardTranslation pending — The Kongo IITranslation pending (1957), p. 33
        The husband comes with a spokesman who will reply to what the spokesman of his wife's kanda has said

        Source context : auteur missionnaire, période colonialeTranslation pending

        Reading guidance : Source produced in a colonial or missionary context: read with critical distance.

      6. Laman, Karl EdwardTranslation pending — The Kongo IITranslation pending (1957), p. 33
        how many pots of yuuma—perhaps from ten to thirty—the visitors have brought

        Source context : auteur missionnaire, période colonialeTranslation pending

        Reading guidance : Source produced in a colonial or missionary context: read with critical distance.

      7. Laman, Karl EdwardTranslation pending — The Kongo IITranslation pending (1957), p. 33
        both the parties will make a calculation to see which of them has given most

        Source context : auteur missionnaire, période colonialeTranslation pending

        Reading guidance : Source produced in a colonial or missionary context: read with critical distance.

      8. Laman, Karl EdwardTranslation pending — The Kongo IITranslation pending (1957), p. 33
        one of the parties is dissatisfied and no thanksgiving feast is held

        Source context : auteur missionnaire, période colonialeTranslation pending

        Reading guidance : Source produced in a colonial or missionary context: read with critical distance.